Pressing Into The Prize

This summer I had the sweet opportunity to learn from a speaker (either a church planter or pastor) every Friday morning for a teaching. From each of these teachings I learned more about what it looks like to live on mission, how to contextualize the gospel in the context of biblical community, and how as the family of God we reveal the glory of God to others. One of the speakers a few weeks into the internship said something I haven’t forgotten, “run to the tension.” It soon became our groups motto as we ran into the tension of starting relationships, pressing those relationships further, and learning how to bring to the Lord other fears and insecurities that came along with those things. But we don’t run to the tension because it is easy, we run into the tension because even though “we labor and strive” (1 Timothy 4:10) we get to press into the prize- Jesus.

As we live life on mission for Him and as we realize how hard that can be sometimes- we press into Him. As we admit we are nothing without Him- we press into Him. As we humble ourselves to His will and acknowledge He is sovereign and He knows best we press into Him. We press into Jesus who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8.) Our sweet prize is knowing Him and being known by Him and it radically affects our hearts, our lives, and the paths we are walking. On the days we get discouraged, overwhelmed, and start feeling insufficient we can remember the tension is worth the Prize.

The gospel is offensive, no doubt. It says that you are broken, apart from God, and no works could justify you. But it is the most loving offense because the gospel also says that despite all of those things, Jesus made a way for you. A way to be whole, with God, and a way only Jesus by His grace could provide. He is the prize we absolutely don’t deserve, the prize we’ve done nothing for, and the Prize we get the joy of pressing into all of our lives until we are present with Him in heaven. And so believing in Him, living your life for Him, running in to the tension for Him is worth it. It is beautiful. It is humbling and sanctifying and redeeming and restoring. For me, it is worth sharing and worth rejoicing in - a race worth running and a Prize worth pressing into.

“Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.”

Beautifully Made

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day." Psalms 139: 13-16 (The Message)

From Mine:

Lord, thank You for not being satisfied in leaving me where I was, stuck in my sinfulness. You called me up from the darkness, filling my dead lungs with the breath of life. You wanted more for me than a bandaged heart but a brand new one. A heart sculpted by you, One flowing with Your goodness and Your blood- blood that was spilt so mine could beat free. I can’t help but look with awe at all You have given, all these underserved mercies. How good it is to be loved by You, how beautiful it is that You love me for all my edges and imperfections, things other people are slow to love. It amazes me how You desire my heart even when I feel too broken and lowly to ever be used. What a testament to Your great, merciful, forgiving nature. Thank You for never pushing me away.

From His:

Loved one, when I created you, it was creation based on love. I saw your future in front of me, I saw the actions you would make-good and bad- and didn’t have a second thought about putting you on Earth. When you chose to follow Me, I gave you a part of me, My Holy Spirit. You do not always walk along side of Us, but we always walk along side of you. There is nothing about you unseen to Us and this is why we pursue you. We want your broken, messy, beautiful heart because it is the heart we created. Broken things were created for beauty. Don’t let yourself believe you are too scarred to be used. My son was scarred so you could be used, so we could be in relationship. There is nothing about you that pushes Me away. I will always redeem you, capture you, mold you, love you- always.

Created For More

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9


From Mine:

Lord, may I always be in awe of what You are doing in my life, even when I don’t understand. May I love Your voice, even when it seems far because the truth is- You never are. You have placed purpose on my heart and I will follow you because it is good. I long to gaze at You and be near to You who so lovingly crafted my story. Keep me close, even when I am prone to wander. I desire more of You, always more. Allow my identity full rest in You because it is where I was created to be. 

From His:

Daughter, never forget you were created to be loved by Me. In the moments you feel yourself reaching for love which will not satisfy, pick up my Great Letter to you and read the verses I crafted to point you back to Me. There you find your love, your clarity, your satisfaction, your rest. Remember, the guilt you feel in the moments you shy away from My love and Grace has such small power over the deep, abiding affection I have towards you. The High Price was paid so you could have joy in the freedom I offer. My Son was sent with a gentle& humble heart to pay the High Price and to give you this magnificent freedom. Let this sacrifice send your heart craving more of Us and You will realize there is no better place to put your identity than in Our hands.

Life-giving, Fear-shattering LOVE

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)


Lord, today has been hard. The waiting is hard and the longing is immense. I want to believe my frail heart can be trusted in Your hands because I know it is foolish to think otherwise. I am silly for not believing it more. You are present aren’t you Lord? Your timing is perfect right? Don’t you know when the rain should fall, when wheat should grow, when my heart is ready for dreams unfulfilled to come to be? I want to draw nearer, drink deeper, dive into this Truth. I want to know, seek, feel you more. You have already showered me with love, You are already my portion- waiting on You should be my joy because that means I am leaning towards You closer. Remind me the waiting is good. Affirm me Father, heal this anxious heart.

Daughter, lean close- do you hear what I am saying? Your heart has been clouded with worry, this is not my wish for you. Remember my words, “Even if He causes suffering, He will show compassion according to His abundant, faithful love.” Sweet one, these words are written for you. These are my offering of comfort , let them warm your  weary bones and let these heal your hurting heart. Abandoned you? Never. I am present with you in Spirit until the day you are united with Me. It is not bad to show weakness, show frustration, it is good because it says to me, “I need you.” I love that you need me Daughter because I love to shower you with life-giving, fear- shattering love. Pour your heart out to Me, do not be afraid to linger in My presence- that is the purpose of it. Have faith my Daughter, I couldn’t ever leave you. I wouldn’t ever want to.

More Than Many Sparrows

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 (ESV)

From My heart:

Lord, I want to breathe You in and breathe You out. I want to live inside Your heartbeat and not in confusion about where I belong. You are the chest in which I want to lay my head, pound my fist, and find my strength. I want to never forget- You are my all. Father, when all in the world seems blurry- may I fix my eyes on You and see Your clarity. May I acknowledge you as the greatest Love, the sweetest Sustainer, and the most marvelous Giver. My heart hurts without you, remind me of my weakness outside of you. Remind me I was not meant to do this alone. Remind me I don’t want to.

From His:

Daughter, do not forget My words which I have spoken with Truth over you. I am your Salvation and your Constant. When the weight of the world seems to rest on your shoulders- remember they first sat on Mine. Through Me you can find rest from these burdens. You will fall but you will never be down for long. I couldn’t stand that. You are My beloved, My rescued one, it is My Great Joy to deliver you. Trust me, cherished girl, I will sustain you.

Letters of Love

Even when we are emptied, we can be filled again. This is what Grace looks like- being filled without deserving the gift of the One who fills us. 


From my heart:

Lord, I promise You my forever. I will never be worthy of Your love but I will live in the goodness that through Your sacrifice, I am deeply loved by You. You are my provider, my Father, my protector, and my sustainer. You have loved me since before my first breath and cherished me before I even had a glimpse of You. I promise to pursue you even if the cost is great and to delight in it when it is hard. I give you my hand and life- since it is Yours in the first place. May you be my sanctuary of love,peace, and joy. With you I am full, whole, and alive. No treasure compares to You. Whatever life may bring may my eyes never wander from You. Let it be so. 

From His:

Child, I am always with you. Your heart is easily wounded, easily misguided,but Mine is not. Trust My steady hand that I will lead you through life with great intent, showing you My glory in ways you have never imagined. Be brave my sweet Daughter because I first go before you and it is My joy to love you fully. You will never truly understand My love until You one day walk into My glory. This will be a marvelous day because at last, you will be home. But for now, hold My promises close and store My words in your heart. You are never alone, never forgotten. You are more precious to me than you dare to believe.