Pressing Into The Prize

This summer I had the sweet opportunity to learn from a speaker (either a church planter or pastor) every Friday morning for a teaching. From each of these teachings I learned more about what it looks like to live on mission, how to contextualize the gospel in the context of biblical community, and how as the family of God we reveal the glory of God to others. One of the speakers a few weeks into the internship said something I haven’t forgotten, “run to the tension.” It soon became our groups motto as we ran into the tension of starting relationships, pressing those relationships further, and learning how to bring to the Lord other fears and insecurities that came along with those things. But we don’t run to the tension because it is easy, we run into the tension because even though “we labor and strive” (1 Timothy 4:10) we get to press into the prize- Jesus.

As we live life on mission for Him and as we realize how hard that can be sometimes- we press into Him. As we admit we are nothing without Him- we press into Him. As we humble ourselves to His will and acknowledge He is sovereign and He knows best we press into Him. We press into Jesus who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8.) Our sweet prize is knowing Him and being known by Him and it radically affects our hearts, our lives, and the paths we are walking. On the days we get discouraged, overwhelmed, and start feeling insufficient we can remember the tension is worth the Prize.

The gospel is offensive, no doubt. It says that you are broken, apart from God, and no works could justify you. But it is the most loving offense because the gospel also says that despite all of those things, Jesus made a way for you. A way to be whole, with God, and a way only Jesus by His grace could provide. He is the prize we absolutely don’t deserve, the prize we’ve done nothing for, and the Prize we get the joy of pressing into all of our lives until we are present with Him in heaven. And so believing in Him, living your life for Him, running in to the tension for Him is worth it. It is beautiful. It is humbling and sanctifying and redeeming and restoring. For me, it is worth sharing and worth rejoicing in - a race worth running and a Prize worth pressing into.

“Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.”

Promised Rest

"Come to Me, all you who are weary

 and burdened, and 

I will give you rest."

Lord, when the worry seems to tug me deep down, keep me focused on You. The worry, it tempts like a rocking chair. I sit and rock, rock, rock and yet I get nowhere. When I rest in my worry I leave exhausted. Help me to not rest in my worry. Remind me how You say "Give Me your burdens" because You want me to find joy in resting in You, not from sitting in my never-ending, soul-sucking worry. Every single one of my hairs is numbered by You because You can be counted on. No longer do I need to worry that I don't have anything figured out because You, my Father, can always be counted on. You give me my strength, You are my portion and my deliverer, I come to you knowing You are the heartbeat of my life.

Daughter, do not be afraid because I love you. The anxiety that makes you weak at the knees and sends quivers in your belly is not from Me. I have given you a spirit of peace and a spirit of joy, abide in this joy. Do you not see how I take care of the birds of the sky, how I cradle them in their nests, and provide them with their food? How much more precious you are in My sight. So do not worry because I provide for you. I delight in taking care of you because you are My creation, the work of my hands and the joy in my heart. Let Me be your daily bread and drink from My overflowing cup of grace, it will never run out on you- I will never run out on you. You are written on my hands, engraven on my heart. 

Life-giving, Fear-shattering LOVE

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)


Lord, today has been hard. The waiting is hard and the longing is immense. I want to believe my frail heart can be trusted in Your hands because I know it is foolish to think otherwise. I am silly for not believing it more. You are present aren’t you Lord? Your timing is perfect right? Don’t you know when the rain should fall, when wheat should grow, when my heart is ready for dreams unfulfilled to come to be? I want to draw nearer, drink deeper, dive into this Truth. I want to know, seek, feel you more. You have already showered me with love, You are already my portion- waiting on You should be my joy because that means I am leaning towards You closer. Remind me the waiting is good. Affirm me Father, heal this anxious heart.

Daughter, lean close- do you hear what I am saying? Your heart has been clouded with worry, this is not my wish for you. Remember my words, “Even if He causes suffering, He will show compassion according to His abundant, faithful love.” Sweet one, these words are written for you. These are my offering of comfort , let them warm your  weary bones and let these heal your hurting heart. Abandoned you? Never. I am present with you in Spirit until the day you are united with Me. It is not bad to show weakness, show frustration, it is good because it says to me, “I need you.” I love that you need me Daughter because I love to shower you with life-giving, fear- shattering love. Pour your heart out to Me, do not be afraid to linger in My presence- that is the purpose of it. Have faith my Daughter, I couldn’t ever leave you. I wouldn’t ever want to.

More Than Many Sparrows

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 (ESV)

From My heart:

Lord, I want to breathe You in and breathe You out. I want to live inside Your heartbeat and not in confusion about where I belong. You are the chest in which I want to lay my head, pound my fist, and find my strength. I want to never forget- You are my all. Father, when all in the world seems blurry- may I fix my eyes on You and see Your clarity. May I acknowledge you as the greatest Love, the sweetest Sustainer, and the most marvelous Giver. My heart hurts without you, remind me of my weakness outside of you. Remind me I was not meant to do this alone. Remind me I don’t want to.

From His:

Daughter, do not forget My words which I have spoken with Truth over you. I am your Salvation and your Constant. When the weight of the world seems to rest on your shoulders- remember they first sat on Mine. Through Me you can find rest from these burdens. You will fall but you will never be down for long. I couldn’t stand that. You are My beloved, My rescued one, it is My Great Joy to deliver you. Trust me, cherished girl, I will sustain you.

Letters of Love

Even when we are emptied, we can be filled again. This is what Grace looks like- being filled without deserving the gift of the One who fills us. 


From my heart:

Lord, I promise You my forever. I will never be worthy of Your love but I will live in the goodness that through Your sacrifice, I am deeply loved by You. You are my provider, my Father, my protector, and my sustainer. You have loved me since before my first breath and cherished me before I even had a glimpse of You. I promise to pursue you even if the cost is great and to delight in it when it is hard. I give you my hand and life- since it is Yours in the first place. May you be my sanctuary of love,peace, and joy. With you I am full, whole, and alive. No treasure compares to You. Whatever life may bring may my eyes never wander from You. Let it be so. 

From His:

Child, I am always with you. Your heart is easily wounded, easily misguided,but Mine is not. Trust My steady hand that I will lead you through life with great intent, showing you My glory in ways you have never imagined. Be brave my sweet Daughter because I first go before you and it is My joy to love you fully. You will never truly understand My love until You one day walk into My glory. This will be a marvelous day because at last, you will be home. But for now, hold My promises close and store My words in your heart. You are never alone, never forgotten. You are more precious to me than you dare to believe.